It's Saturday afternoon. My children are sleeping, my dishes are washing, (Praise the Lord for a dishwasher!!) my laundry is drying, (Praise the Lord even more for a washer and a dryer!!), and I am posting. (I guess Praise the Lord for a computer! ;P) The couple from church definitely wants to rent our house. They were so excited at the prospect of living in a real house in the country instead of a tiny one bedroom apartment in town. They even liked our dirt road!!! Now especially for their sakes, I hope this all works out.

Nathan and I had a late candlelit dinner last night when he got home. All the kids were already in bed, and we had a good talk. I had written him a note the other morning encouraging him to seek the Lord's peace in prayer over pursuing this move, because he still had none. At dinner last night, he just broke down and told me that he has this terrible premonition that the Lord is working all of this out for us to move next to his parents because I am going to die. He said he's felt this way since the beginning, since his mother first told us about the house. He said he didn't even want to tell me he had been feeling that way, and he knows it's silly, but he feels like having his mom next door to take care of the kids just ensured that the Lord was going to take me home to Heaven. I was really shocked, I didn't know what to say at first. First of all, no one wants to hear that someone thinks you're going to die, and second of all, this is sooooo not my husband. He hardly ever worries about the future like this; he's always the one saying nothing bad is going to happen and everything will be fine. I could tell that this was really real for him, though. I think speaking it out loud made it seem less fearful for him, and I just told him that if it's my time to go, the Lord will take me, whether we live here or there, or wherever, and if I am going to die, yes, I would want it to be in a situation that my children could easily be cared for by family. Thinking about it today I have gotten a little more upset at the thought, but last night, I just felt perfect peace, which I know was from the Lord, that even if his "premonition" were to be realized that the Lord would be in control. I don't think there is anything to it, and I continually reassured Nathan of this. Again, this was just so out of character for him, if you know my husband, him expressing this as a real fear is completely shocking. It did get me to thinking, though, and I think I will take the time to write some letters to my children, my husband, and (gulp) my husband's future wife, if there ever is such a person. On W@H a few weeks ago, someone asked something to that effect, what would you do if you knew you were dying. As Dana says, life is terminal, whether we have the label of "dying" from this or that or not, we are not promised tommorow. My friend Karen's recent cancer diagnosis just makes this hit a little closer to home, though. It is scary to think of, that the Lord could be setting this all up so that my children could be cared for, so Nathan would be right next to his family when He calls me home. But then I think, what a gift, to have a little "warning", some time to tell people what you want to leave them with, and get done what you would want to before you go to Glory. The thought of my children without a mother and my family without a daughter and sister, and my husband without a wife makes me so upset, but the thought of being with Jesus, of being with my family on the other side, of meeting my two precious babies that are in Heaven, well, that doesn't sound so bad. And if the Lord's will is for me to be in Heaven, I know He will take care of those I leave on earth.

Okay, on to happier subjects, before I turn into a complete emotional wreck!! I am soooo excited, when Nathan comes home from work tonight, he will be home until Tuesday morning!!! Yeah, yeah, (doing happy dance!!) This is such a wonderful blessing, having him home two days IN A ROW this time of year, not to mention just two days in a week, is so incredibly wonderful. George is so excited. Nathan usually gets to see George for a few minutes in the morning, and sometimes he gets to see Grace for a few minutes at night, but Ian is usually sleeping when Nate leaves and when he comes home. The other morning, Nate didn't have to leave for work until about 8:30, and Ian woke up right before he left. I carried Ian out of his room and when he saw Nathan he just got so excited and practically leaped into his arms and just laid his head down on Daddy's shoulder and hugged him. Nate got all choked up last night talking about how much that meant to him, and said that he hopes the kids know how much he misses them. He is so looking forward to having this time off. We might even take the kids to the zoo on Monday. I have to call and see how expensive it is. They would all love it, though. I hope it works out. And you won't see me on the computer, (or probably doing much housework, or anything else but loving on my man and being together as a family) until Tuesday. So, happy weekend!!!