I suppose I should officially document our great travels cross-country, and in fact while we were gone I was totally blog-composing in my head thinking what I was going to write when I got back, BUT, then we got back, I got a raging fever, was delirious out of my mind, sick as a dog, convinced I was a rabbit (see "delirious" above) dizzy, nauseated, and too weak to open a bottle of gatorode by myself, so my great thought train kind of got derailed. Thankfully, I am on the upswing now, and itching to get back to life. Actually I am itching to get on to the next phase of life, which, in my mind started after our vacation ended. The phase in which tv and movies are not a part of my childrens days, the phase in which we start George's first grade and Awana Sparks, the phase where Grace gets potty trained and pacifier-less, the phase where I decide whether or not Ian will go to Awana this year and what, if anything, to do with him school-wise, the phase where I get my computer/play/school room spit-spot organized. I feel a bit like Anne (of Green Gables) saying "Tommorow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." What paralyzes me is the fear of the potential mistakes, I suppose, but all in all, I am excited. I finally got myself used to the idea that for the second "slow season" in a row, Nate would not be really getting much more time off, because they are opening yet another store. It's okay, though, really, I almost do better in my groove without him than when I have to adjust to handing over the parental controls again and learning to deal with the kids as a co-parent. We had some adjustment periods while on vacation, as always, just because that is almost the only time the kids have us both around day to day. For the most part, though, that was fine, and we had some profitable discussions because of it, so I was thankful. Well, I'd better hurry up and write about the vacation before I babble myself to death here.

We left on Friday, the 17th, a little later than I had wanted to, but fine all the same. Nate drove first, then I took over when it got into the late night/early morning. (Being a night owl has it's advantages, especially when you are road-tripping. After I drove 8 hours all night on our first trip up to MN, Big George said I should have been a trucker. Now that would be fun. But, I digress..) The tone of the time together in the van this time was different, obviously, since last time there was a spirit of grief, of hurry, and slightly of the attitude you get when you have no choice but to do something, so you automatically make the best of it. This time there was an air of suppressed excitement, of relaxed good humor as we were all looking forward to being up there. We arrived in Bemidji at about 10 pm Saturday evening to Scott and Mandi's open arms, (well, they had pizza in their hands) and smiles all around. Thus began a wonderful week of family fun, relaxing, fun firsts for the kids, laughter, getting to know each other better, and enjoying our surroundings. I will try to factually detail the days, for the sake of my poor memory.

• Sunday we went to church, had lunch, played, napped, and in the evening, Karen and I went with Mandi to a "splurge party" for her birthday, at a store in the mall, and then out for dessert with Mandi's girlfriends. Highlights of the day: Scott and Mandi's pastor doing an Indiana Jones imitation, drinking Highlander Grogg coffee at church, seeing Ross in his ready-for-Pensacola-duds, watching Karen have fun trying on clothes while simultaneously pretending she was too mature to be enjoying herself.
• Monday was kind of cold and rainy. We were all staying in cabins at Camp Oak Hills around the big dining hall, which became our central meeting spot/meal place/game corner/kid's playland/laundry room, and we spent a lot of time there. Highlights: wearing the sweatshirt I got on Kohl's 75% off clearance last year, watching my kids play with their cousins, and learning speed scrabble-I am totally addicted now. I think this was also the night of the Buchan brother's car race in which they named and bracketed all the little hot wheels cars the kids played with all day and had double elimination distance races. It is just too funny to watch four grown men completely relive their childhood, and still manage to act macho about it. For the record, Caleb was the grand champion with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
• Tuesday was our anniversary and was such a great fun day for me. I hope everyone else enjoyed it as much. It was all highlights. After a fantabulous breakfast cooked by Scott, Mandi took Karen and I downtown to walk around and to Cantabria coffee where I got a white chocolate cocoa, which I sipped on the way to my pedicure appt. - my birthday present from my incredible sister-in-law. After my fabulous pedicure, I walked my cute toes (which were painted "EdinBurgandy" and looked so great with my white yoga shirt with the word Simplify in black script on it and my Old Navy linen oh-so-comfy black skirt which is as big as a 12 in any other brand, but the label says 6) back down the streets of Bemidji and into some great gift shops, where I bought a little birch bark canoe for a souvenier. We got back to camp in time for lunch, then later that day, Nate and I went out to dinner at a local restaurant courtesy of Scott and Mandi. (If you are ever in Bemidji, go to the Green Mill!!) It was a great day.
• Wednesday, we went to see the big statue of Paul Bunyon and Babe, rode a little train around the park, went gift shopping, and went to Animal Land, where you can feed goats and tame deer while they are walking all around you, feed bear, lion, cougar, tiger, tiger, camel and a host of other wild animals in cages very close to you. It was so much fun, and I got some great pictures. That night we had the Buchan birthday party and gave gifts for the August to November birthdays. Highlights: watching the kids with the animals, giving presents.
• Thursday was our water day, as it was the only day that was predominantly sunny, nice and warm. We went swimming, water-skiing, boating, canoeing, kayaking, made sand castles, and went fishing. We were walking distance away from Lake Bemidji and had the camp's (and Scott's) water craft at our disposal. Everyone had a fabulous time. Thursday was also our fish fry supper. Mandi's friend Misty and her mom and stepdad joined us for supper. Highlights of the day: watching the kids play in the water, big kids and little kids, seeing George so excited about fishing, watching Lily do her American Idol impression, and best highlight of the whole trip- Nate rowed me out to the middle of the lake at about 10 pm and I swam in the beautiful, bracing water for 20 minutes while he fished. It was exhilarating.
• Friday, Mandi was watching two little kids, one of whom is Lily's "prince." Lily is Scott and Mandi's 4 year old daughter who has a flair for the dramatic, (see above) is obsessed with princess/high style living and is already planning her wedding. The kids all had so much fun playing together, and got to go out on the boats again, too. After the kids went to bed, the Buchan brothers continued their mandatory get-together Risk game, which Nathan won, and then Scott showed us the dvd he had made of Caleb and Ross's snow fun up there 2 Christmases ago. There was some great footage of Ross totally losing it plummeting through the air, limbs flailing, off a ski jump. (think AFV, only better) Mandi and I had some great talk-time while the brothers were off pirating CD's, too. Highlights: bubbles with the kids, seeing Nate in a bandana, talking with Mandi
• Saturday we left very early, so we could have lunch and visit with Grandma Buchan. That was great, just to see her and have the kids spend time with her. When we were up there for the funeral, she didn't get to spend much time with the children, so she was happy to this time. I got some great pictures. And even though I think this is where I contracted the gut-wrenching illness I have suffered from for days now, I totally enjoyed our lunch out at Country Buffet. Highlights, of course, were seeing Grandma Marilyn, and also my late night driving, where I went through 57 of the Third Day songs on Nate's iPod and had a good cry with God over Nattie.

So, that, completely NOT in a nutshell, was our family vacation. There were a hundred other great highlights, like the endless coffee pot, the ever present uncles to entertain the kids, Scott and Mandi's unending hospitality and famous cooking, and the fact that Nate and I had a kidless bedroom and set a record for vacation birth control usage. All in all, it was great, and I hope we get to do it again soon. Also, soon, I hope to be writing wonderful things about how organized I am being in meeting my goals.....but, we'll see.

Back Home Again

Here's the only picture of me from our vacation, snuggling with my cute husband in the dining hall of Camp Oak Hills, which was our central meeting spot for all meals, lots of play and fun during our first ever Buchan family vacation in the northwoods of Minnesota. It was wonderful.

Wordless Wednesday...Dancing Children

I have continually made a mental note to do Friday Felicities for the last few weeks, and guess what, I keep missing it. But that certainly shouldn't put the kibosh on my counting my blessings blog-style. I'll just give it a go in this stolen moment....

• Grace is standing behind me, totally engrossed in playing with about 10 cars on the windowsill of the playroom. I wish my camera batteries weren't dead, this would make a great picture...the sun streaming through her wispy blonde hair while she cocks her head and does falsetto voices for the different cars crashing into each other and having an indepth conversation while they are doing it. She has on a pinky pink pink dress on and no shoes. When she smiles, her black lashes almost make her sparkly blue eyes disappear. All you see is the dimple on her right cheek and that expanse of adorable still baby teeth. Precious.
• Claire is also behind me, still in her little blue frilly nightgown, crawling around amongst the blocks and cars left out by the older kids this morning. Yesterday, she stood up......yes, she stood up, holding onto something, but just barely holding on. The placid expression on her face just totally mocking all the baby books that say you should probably be eating solid food before you embark on a track career, and also flying in the face of the personal history of my other children, none of whom walked before a year. Not that she's close to walking, but you can just see the little subtle glint in her eye, whispering "Hi, world, it's me, Claire. I'm not very loud, but when you're not looking, I'm totally going to make my mark, and it will be all my own."
• There are days when Ian just makes me cry. Sometimes for joy at his simple, beautiful affectionate nature. Sometimes for frustration because I just don't feel I am getting through to him and I feel he needs so much more than I am capable of giving. In Publix the other day, I couldn't keep the tears from my eyes, watching him get upset over, well, I never did figure out what, but he just lost it, tears and desperate heart-hurting cries of frustration that ended with him repeatedly slapping himself. Sometimes I just can't get through. BUT, sometimes it is beautiful. He was putting the cushions back on the couch the other day, (after a great fort experience) and then stood up on top of them and declared to the world "I'm decently cool!!!" I said "What, Ian??" He looked at me like, "Uh, Mama, what are you, slow or something?" and repeated himself, "Mama, I'm DECENTLY COOL!" Yes, he is.
• The kids and I hit Burger King's dollar menu for supper last night, since we had to do a Target diaper run and the timing was as it was. As we were leaving, and George was being a little less than as grateful as he should have been, (this is the third time we've eaten out in 2 weeks, for crying out loud) I said "You know, when I was little like you, we hardly ever went to restaurants." To which George wisely replied "Mama, it's because there were no restaurants back then."
• My husband is a rare man. He will tell me when something doesn't look good on me, if something wasn't a good enough deal to make it worth my deal finding time, and also just give me his opinion when I ask for it without trying to stilt his answer to defer to my feminine sensitivities. His honesty was a lot to get used to in those way too sensitive first years of marriage when, let's face it, all you want to hear is "Of course you're beautiful and skinny and brilliant, nothing could be otherwise." It took me a few years to realize that this "brutal honesty" was a huge blessing. I know he will tell me the truth, and you know, it just makes it mean so much more when he leers at me and says "You are mighty fine, woman." If he will tell me when I'm not, I know he means it when he says I am. I love that.
  

George William

I was just explaining to George what a blog was, why it existed, and why it was fun. The only thing he really connected with was when I said "I can write whatever I want to." Then he said "Well, then, Mama, you should write...George is cool!" So, here goes, my message for the day....

GEORGE IS COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really, George is very cool, for many reasons, like..

• He loves the color red just like I do.
• He can remember what he got for his first birthday, what we had for dinner when we when to a friend's house when I was pregnant with Ian...so he was about 16 months old, and a million other random and not so random things.
• He is an incredible helper to me with his three little siblings
• He absolutely adores his Daddy
• He is afraid of new things, but he tries them anyway
• He told me he has to have his head facing the wall when he's in bed, because that is "the good dream side"
• He is almost up to my armpit.....and he's only five
• He is incredibly intelligent...and he knows it
• He has started asking me for hugs...just because he knows I like them, even though he doesn't
• He is a total rock star at original Nintendo Mario
• He loves me to read him The Hobbit
• He was looking around at the world, taking it all in, before he was even completely born
• He was saying Dada at 5 months, and Mama at 6 months, and he hasn't stopped talking since then
• He loves to go camping
• He was my first born son, beautiful pregnancy, wonderful delivery, bleary eyed-sleepless infanthood-ed, eat on the dot every three hours baby around the clock.
• He is a wonderful big brother
• He is a rock fanatic
• He climbed Borestone Mtn. (see pic above) in October.. "without ever stopping once!"

I know there are a million more things I'm not thinking of. He is my almost complete personality opposite and he so rocks my world. Sometimes I am terrified I am totally screwing him up, thinking "Why, Lord, did you ever give him to me...surely you know me, and you know him, and it seems like such a bad fit" But of course, the Lord does know this, and I'm sure he is using George to grow me and teach me.

Back at last

How did it get to be August?!?!? That's what I want to know. The end of July turned out to be pretty hectic as Nate's grandfather passed away and we had to drive up to Minnesota unexpectedly. The trip went really well, though. We were able to borrow the church's 11 passenger van and Nate got a fabulous deal on a fancy hotel from Priceline. The kids were so good on the trip, despite being in a van for 24 hours straight, minus short rest stops, and then being in hotel rooms, churches, houses with no toys, etc. It was just not a kid friendly trip at all, but they did so well and adjusted wonderfully. I think that says more about people praying for us than for the children's natural wont, but it was a great blessing. We left Friday afternoon. Nate drove til 10 pm, then Night Owl Me got a big coffee and drove til 6 am, then Nate drove some more, then his dad drove us into Minneapolis. I got about 2 hours of broken sleep in the back of the van the rest of the day, so was a bit zombie like when we arrived at Nate's grandmother's house. But, after a good night's rest at the Crown Plaza, I was good to go. The visitation at the funeral home was Sunday evening, then Monday morning was the memorial service. Nate wrote a beautiful tribute to his grandfather and read it at the funeral. He said that getting his thoughts down on paper and thinking through it all was a really good grieving time for him. Here is what he wrote:

"As I look to my memories of the time I spent with my grandfather I am struck by how much of what I remember I still see through the eyes of my childhood. These sweet memories, though they may be fading, are a heritage to be treasured, honored, and passed on to my children. I think today of the legacy of Grandpa Bob embodied in the four little children I call my own. What will they know of their great grandfather through me, how will his life effect them, though they never knew him. Will they wonder about this man, about their fleeting young memory of the time of his passing?

I imagine someday little Grace and Claire asking about Great Grandpa Bob, this big happy man they see in an old picture album. Oh, Grandpa would have loved you, I would tell them. When he saw you, he wouldn’t have called you Zeke or Squirt or Tiger or one of the other nicknames he had for your uncle and me, but I’m sure you’d have had a special girl’s nickname all your own. And he probably wouldn’t have brought you baseball cards or sports magazines when he came to visit you, but you can bet he would have thought of something to bring you to make you feel special. Then he would have picked you up with his great strong hands, set you up on his knee, and asked you what you’d been up to. Later you could have heard his great big laugh fill the room you were in and you’d have seen the smiles on the faces of each person there as they shared in his stories, his jokes, and his sayings.

You could be sure at some point his stories would turn to food, and he’d probably have you almost drooling as you shared in his delight over the cooking he’d enjoyed on some recent day. You might even have started to get hungry, but you wouldn’t be worried, because when you were with Grandpa Bob a trip to Perkins couldn’t be too far off.

He would always have his camera close by, and you’d probably get so used to him pulling it out of his front shirt pocket and snapping it that you’d hardly even notice after awhile. If you visited his house you might have seen his desk and his colored pencils, and then you’d have known one reason he took so many pictures. On a special day, you might have been able to come along as he delivered a portrait he had drawn of a friend or acquaintance. You’d have seen the look of surprise and gratitude on that person’s face, amazed that this friendly man would give such a special part of himself and his talents and ask nothing in return.

As you would visit with Grandpa Bob you might hear some small story about a time very long ago when he gave a special part of himself and his talents for the service of this great country he loved. He wouldn’t tell you much, but you’d still marvel that this man whom you knew and loved had played a part in such a vast and terrible struggle for the sake of your freedom.
Throughout the day you’d notice what a special place Grandma held in his life. Whether it was a quick kiss on the cheek, squeeze of the hand, holding of a door, or a quick wink and grin as he said, “Yes Dear,” you would be sure that he couldn’t do without this amazing woman in his life.
When it was time for him to go away he’d remind you to write him a letter just to say Hi. Then he’d be absolutely sure to get a great big hug from you, he’d squeeze you so tight you’d feel the rough scratching of his cheek on yours, and the fresh smell of his aftershave would linger with you even as you watched his Buick drive away down your street. Then all at once you’d miss him, because he’d brought such joy into your life that day.

“I want to spend a day with my Great-Grandpa,” I imagine my little Claire saying as she hears these stories. Well, I would say, there is something else I want to tell you about Grandpa, the most important thing, really. You see, he had a friend, a very dear, cherished, wonderful friend. This friend was with him every single day of his life, and when he was older he grew closer and closer to Him. He told his family about this great friend, and many others he met during his life. It gave him great peace to know this friend, and it was his complete trust in this friend’s grace and love that brought him to the place where he is today. If he could have just a moment with you now I know his first words would be of this friend. His friend’s name is Jesus. You can know Jesus too, my dear little girl. You can accept the gifts He has for you, spend this life with Him, love Him, and some far-off day, when the time is right, it’s only Jesus who can take you to a place where you too can spend a day with Grandpa Bob."

Nate did so well reading it, too. He so has a gift for public speaking and just sharing things in a wonderful way that people understand. It's funny, I joke with him that most people are scared of public speaking and do fine with "private" speaking, but he's just he opposite, it's the one on one conversations he has trouble with. ;P We got to spend some good time with relatives after the service, and then the burial at Fort Snelling was Tuesday morning. We left after lunch on Tuesday.

The timing of the Minnesota trip was a bit disappointing, only because I missed a little time with my dear friend, Heather, who had flown down from Maine to spend a week. Esther picked her up at the airport for me the night before we got home. So Heather had to spend the morning here by herself, with only Bandit the kitten for company. She was so gracious, though, and didn't even mind that I was kind of braindead for driving all night long and then for a few hours at the end of the trip before we got home around 1 on Wednesday afternoon.

I had such a wonderful visit with Heather. Where do I even begin describing the sweet, godly, incredible woman that is Heather MacKenzie?!? Our families have known each other forever, in fact, I think we are actually 5th or 6th cousins, so we have been friends for ever, but this was the first time we were actually able to spend any significant amount of time together visiting since we were in high school. We got to know each other as women, not just as friends, and it was great. It was so refreshing to be with someone who is not so caught up in the many things that so commonly distract women from what is truly important. Part of that is just that she's from Maine, and, well, we're just simpler up there, but mostly it is just that she has her eyes fixed on Jesus, and all the earthly things pale in comparison. Although she is one of the most beautiful and graceful people I have ever met, she doesn't care at all about makeup, having the latest hairstyle, wearing the newest, coolest clothes, driving the newest car, living in a fancy house or other shallow concerns that we as women sometimes get stuck on. At least I know I do. She didn't seem concerned about what other people thought of her, about being the center of attention, about getting "what she deserves" from people around her. She is just a servant, devoted to her husband, loving her family, serving the Lord in whatever He gives her to do. She has a radiance that shines on her features and colors her speech that only comes from having your heart resting in the Lord. We had some really great talks, sharing our different struggles, encouraging one another and sharing what the Lord is teaching us. I am so thankful that she came.

Now that I had my mopey day yesterday over the fact that Heather had to go home to her husband, I am feeling back to life today and am now all excited about planning our real trip to Minnesota, that we had had planned for months before we had to go up for Grandpa Bob's funeral. There was some talk of nixing the trip because we had to go up for that, but those of us in the Buchan family who think with our hearts and now with our wallets (think...anyone but Nathan...) have convinced the more reluctant ones that this is a necessary trip still. Actually I think it is even more important now, especially for Nate's grandmother, for her to have some time after Bob's passing and then to have us up there for a more joyful reunion. So, we are all excited. We will be staying at the camp that is at Oak Hills college where Scott and Mandi work. I can't wait to be out there on the lake. And, Monday night when Heather and I went out to dinner and shopping, courtesy of my wonderful husband watching the kids for me, I found a bathing suit!!!! And it actually covers me up, and looks halfway cute!! I was so excited, and the best part is that it was about 70% off. I found some really cute little fishing poles for the boys on ebay. George is so excited for us to finally go on a canoe ride, which we never got to do when he and I and Claire went up to Maine in May. Oh, I could so spend all day on a lake in a canoe, just paddling around in the stillness, listening to the loons call, or jumping in to swim in the refreshing water. I think I may be more excited to go than the kids are. And, we will get to spend more time with Scott and Mandi and their beautiful girls. They are such wonderful people and it will be great to have that time together without having to rush around like we did when we were in MN before.

Well, now that I have developed a crippling case of carpel tunnel from typing so much, I should go. BUT, on this 2nd day of August, I have to say "Happy Anniversary!" to my wonderful parents, who have been married 32 years today...wow! And "Happy Birthday!!" to my crazy little brother, David, "May your sporran always be full and your kilt never rise in the wind!" (Just a little Scottish humor for you)