Someone left a long comment on my blog the other day. They said that they thought I was living in "sacrificial martyrdom", and that I had doomed myself to a "life of penance." They said that God meant to prosper me outside of my roles as "mommy and wife." They wrote that I needed balance and that I deserved fulfillment and pleasure. The person who wrote this was obviously not interested in a civil dialogue, since they did not even have the decency to leave their name.

When I first read this, I was just too shocked to know how to respond. I was dumbfounded as to how anyone could infer from my posts that I was living a life of drudgery and "sacrificial martyrdom." Then I was afraid that somehow I had so misrepresented myself and my circumstances that I was giving a vastly distorted view of my life. But I do not think that is the case. The only thing I could conclude was that this person had a very different view on life than I did.

The commenter wrote that "God has never called you to sacrifice all that you have and all that you are for your husband and kids." Perhaps they have never known the adoring gaze of a child, the absolute pleasure and fulfillment that comes from honoring and loving the man you were made for. Maybe they don't understand how it feels to know that you are in the center of God's will when you are caring for and loving your family, and experience a level of joy and peace that never could be achieved in the pursuit of "pleasure and fulfillment" outside of the relationships and circumstances that God has graciously appointed to be foremost. My son Ian runs up to me about 20 times a day and says "C'ive a hug, Mama?" and then he giggles and squeezes his little arms around my neck and says "Kith, Mama?" and gives me sloppy kisses. I don't feel like this is a sacrifice in any way. To watch my little girl's eyes light up when she sees me, and know she knows her Mama is always there for her, moments like that don't feel like martyrdom. When George and I can sustain conversations throughout the day, and talk about angels, and sleeping, and Buzz Lightyear, and shell collections, and why Jesus put stars in the sky, and why we love each other, and what we're giving Grampy for Christmas, and a million other things that he only confides in me; I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. Quite on the contrary, I thank the Lord that I can be there for him so I don't have to miss out on any of that. Right before Nathan fell asleep the other night, he turned and looked at me with sleepy, adoring eyes and said "Goodnight, Sweetie. Thankyou for all you do, I love you." and then he wrapped his arms around me and fell asleep with a smile on his face. Am I sacrificing all that I have and all that I am? I don't think so. I thank God that I can give all that I have and all that I am to my family. The sacrifice would be if I had to be in another role, pursuing other things.

Those times when I do seek to get beyond the responsibilities that God has given, when I try to give myself to endeavors or situations or attitudes that are not Biblical, or that are just not what I know to be God's best for my life, those are the times when I am sacrificing. I am giving up time and affections and attentions to things that do not matter, that are not what I have been called to, and that will not yield me any real pleasure or satisfaction.

To whomever left the comment, I am sorry if you have gotten any kind of wrong impression, and I hope you see now that I live a life of glorious satisfaction. When I am true to what God has given me, and seeking to honor Him with the choices that I make, then no other thing could give me more joy and peace. I hope you know that joy and peace, too.

Please feel free to email me if you decide you would like to have a real conversation.