The kids in their costumes, Tigger, unicorn and Carebear. Too cute!!! 

Here we are on Valentine's Day. 

Here are the dozen roses Nathan brought home for me. We were halfway through dinner before I noticed the silver charm tied to the roses. There were actually two of them. One for this year, a little silver heart with "I love you" written in script, and a replacement one of the lovebirds that I had lost a few weeks ago. He was so sweet to replace that, and I love the new one, too. 

Here's the pie I made for Nathan for our special Valentine's dinner. I should have taken a picture of the whole spread, it was neat. I had 16 candles burning around the dining room, and music playing. The walls were decorated with a picture collage of us through the years and a list I made for Nathan..."100 Reasons why I love you..." and of course the beautiful roses he brought home. 

Here is Robin and Suzanne at their Bible study birthday party. We had so much fun. I love our group, they are all wonderful ladies and such a blessing to me. 

Here is the Calkins boys with our three kids. They have grown up together. We met Steve and Amy when I was pregnant with George and before Josiah was walking, and now we have 7 between us. We are going to miss them so badly. 

I just put a bunch of pictures on my blog. Valentines' Day and all. I still have never put pics of Christmas, I don't think. Oh well. We babysat last night for the Calkins. They left their 4 boys here and went on a much needed date. They will be moving in May. Steve starts his new job in Virginia in a few weeks I think and will be gone during the week. Amy is staying here with the kids and they will all move up in May, when the kids are done school and sports and everything. She was my first friend when we moved here, and has been my closest. I will miss them so much when they are gone. They have been so loving, so giving, so great to us. We have shared so much together and felt like sisters all along. I know it was a real blessing for Steve to get this new job, I had been praying that something else would come up, I am just sad that it will mean they will be so far away.

Ian has been going crazy with puzzles lately. He wants to do them all day long, and Karen even brought over four new ones and he breezed right through them. He loves it, and it's great having something he will sit still at for a while. Grace has taken a few steps. Like, two and a half, several times now. I think once she realizes she can go faster that way, she will take off. She's been my latest walker. George is really enjoying doing "school" with me. We slacked off and didn't do it a few days last week, but did two lessons this morning. He goes through them pretty quickly still so we usually do two at a time, and sometimes we do that twice a day. He is reading short words now. I am really glad I did get that book instead of using the ABeka stuff. ABeka is so solid on phonics and great, but they have pictures by everything and George can't concentrate on the sounds, he just looks at the pictures and guesses. He is such an incredibly strong visual learner, I really have to make sure that all he has to look at is exactly what he needs and no more. He has been asking me to read him verses lately and so at meal times I have been reading to him. He loves it and always wants me to read more. I need to get him a Bible of his own, I never did decide on one. King James is great, but he keeps having to ask what the words mean, which I suppose is good, but for right now, and especially once he starts to be able to read it on his own, it would be nice to have something a little more understandable for him.

I had a long talk with Nathan on the whole birth control issue the other night. He agrees with me that the Bible says children are always a blessing, and counters with "Well, serving God is a blessing and good, does that mean I should quit my job and become a pastor, even though I don't feel called to?" I am reading "A Full Quiver" by Rick and Jan Hess. It's good. I am still trying to find out what exactly the Lord wants me to believe here. I think it's pretty obvious from Scripture that kids are a reward, a blessing, and good. They are not, however, a commandment. I get a little nervous of those people in the "quiverfull" camp that think it is a sin not to constantly "try" to get pregnant. It can become legalistic, and I don't think that pleases the Lord any more than those who don't trust His provision and stop having kids without seeking His will for them. I think they are cutting their blessings off, but I don't know if just not having kids, (through human interventions) is a sin. I suppose the sin would be if God had revealed to a person His will and they did not trust Him enough to let Him be in control of that area of their lives. My heart is burdened about this, but what is clear to me is that I need to be obedient to my husband and he is still in favor of birth control right now. He said he didn't mind if I researched it further, though. I'm not going to argue with him, just pray that both our minds are in accord, or become so, with the mind of the Lord.

This funny thing in my chest, shoulder, arm, has been worse in the last few weeks. It started probably a year or 6 months ago, just a vague, dull ache in my left shoulder once in a while. I have always had various pains in my chest, asthma and heart stuff. A doctor told me once my heart wasn't where it was supposed to be in my chest, and that's why it hurt sometimes. I've had pleurisy, chostocondritis, (I'm sure I spelled that wrong, LOL) and other funny things. Just in the last few weeks, though, the chest pain, on my left side has been getting worse. It's not a sharp pain, and sometimes more of a weakness and pressure than actual pain. I don't know if it's my lung or my heart or muscles or what. I don't know if the chest stuff is related to the shoulder stuff or not, but it kind of feels like the same thing. My shoulder, left side started bothering me more. It was like the vague pains I've had off and on for awhile now just stepped up in intensity. Then it radiated down my arm, and hand. It's like a funny, cold heat...I know that doesn't make any sense, but I can't tell which. Like it's asleep almost, dead weight, or just really weak. I haven't been able to make bread in 2 1/2 weeks, and I have been having to hold the kids on my other side. It's not all the time, and it's not constant even when it is bothering me. I don't think it's my heart, because the feelings do feel the same in my chest and shoulder, so maybe that is a muscle thing, or maybe a pinched nerve or something? It's getting annoying, and we just switched over to our HSA, which means that until we pay $5000 out of that account, insurance doesn't pay anything. So, I could go to the dr. but we couldn't really afford to have any tests done, which I would think would be necessary to really figure out what's going on. It's certainly not life threatening, just frustrating. In the last 2 weeks, I have had probably 4 days when it was really bad, painful and weakening, and really affecting my productivity level. I tried to look online some to figure it out, but didn't come up with much. I suppose I am just writing about it now to chronicle when it started, to see later if it goes away, or gets worse or whatever. I just want it to go away. Right now, it just feels like there's a stick through my chest on my left side front to back, and it gets worse when I take a deep breath. My shoulder is aching, my arm and hand feel funny, cold and heavy. Maybe it will just go away, that would be great.

I have been all into making soup ever since I had that great soup at Misty's awhile back. Saturday I tried my hand at making chicken noodle, but it definitely has something lacking. I don't really know what, though. I will make some cabbage tomatoe, zucchini soup later this week. I love soup, it's really cheap to make, it's super good for us, everyone will eat it and it lasts a long time. Yummy! :)

I should probably go, I need to get things picked up and I will try not to succumb to just laying on my heating pad and reading "Little Dorrit" in my bedroom. We'll see! :P

I feel loved.....:)

My mom sent a Valentine's day package for us all. In George's little goodie bag was a small chocolate heart. Anyone who knows me know I rarely give my children sweets, so having any is always a special treat, especially to George who has a huge sweet tooth. (just like his mother...;) George carefully unwrapped his chocolate heart. Then he ran over to me and said "Mama, this heart means 'I love you'!" I said I knew that and that means that Grammy loves him because she sent it to him. Then, he held it out and said "But Mama, I want to give this heart to you." I said "Are you sure?" trying not to break into sentimental tears right on the spot. He said "Yeah, because it means that I love you." :)

It's Monday morning. I am staying online this morning because my first ebay auction is ending in a little while and I want to be online in case anyone asks a question or anything. Misty has been of instrumental help in all of this, and again, I am thankful for her.

I had such a relaxing day yesterday. Sleeping in, naps in the afternoon, and kids to bed early, then Nate made a fire and I just laid in front of it and read, it was dreamy. I love having him home two days in a row, although I know it will just make me miss him more when things really get busy soon.

Esther and Jeremiah are officially approved and waiting to hear back from a case worker with two potential files for them. One, a set of three month old twins, a boy and a girl, and one a single three month old boy. Esther was telling us yesterday about the great need for foster parents in Coweta county, and that there is a sibling group of 5!! girls, sisters all between the ages of 2 and 7, up for adoption. Talk about an instant family. I told Nate maybe we should just get fixed, move to a bigger house and adopt them. He just smiled. I wish we were in a position to do that. Wow.

We are starting our new Bible study on Thursday. I am excited and dreading it at the same time. It looks like a really indepth and good one, akin to The Excellent Wife. There was so much that the Lord tested me on while we were going through that study, I don't know if I am ready for even more to be accountable for. Not that it's not stuff I don't already know, it's just that there was so much heartache on the way to growth that happened before. It makes me wonder what the Lord has in store. It's like I wrote about before, if it were up to me, no one, including myself, would ever go through those hard times, but the faith building experiences are usually hard, there's no way around that. I need to just lay it al lbefore the Lord and give up trying to accomplish things in my own strength.

I am so far behind on laundry, it's not even funny. The basket in the boys room has more clean laundry in it than there is in their drawers and closet, and in my room, it's everywhere!! And the laundry bags are full again needing to be washed. Sigh..I guess I should just be thankful that we are so blessed to have so many clothes and to have a good washer and dryer. I really am thankful.

Grace is standing in a chair beside me pretending to talk on a play phone. Her little eyebrows keep going up, she looks so funny. Jer and Esther brought us a package of cookies yesterday from Publix bakery, and as of last night, there were three big chocolate chip pecan cookies left. When we got up this morning, there was a half of one in the broken package sitting next to a sticky little Ian. Then later, I found him sucking the honey out of the honey bear!! You don't think that child has a sweet tooth at all, do you?!?!? I'd better get some of that laundry put away before I need to start on lunch prep.

I just had to share this...Dh is playing "Worst Case Scenario" with George, who is four. The questions are like "What do you do if you are caught in a brush fire?" or "What is the best way to survive a bear attack?" Things like that. Well, Nathan was asking George the questions and when it got to Nate's turn, George, (who can't read) would pretend to read off the card and make something up. On Nate's first turn, George said "Okay, Daddy, you're walking and you see a mountain...should you climb it?" The next turn, George says (completely seriously) "You're in the sea and an alligator eats you...should you close your eyes?" I laughed so loud!!!!

It is Thursday. Tonight we are going out to eat in lieu of Bible study, because we are switching studies and don't have our new books yet. And I just went out to eat on Sunday and Saturday and holy cow am I spoiled!!!! Saturday, Nathan had the day off (The third in a row Saturday off, love it, love it!!) and in the afternoon we went to see "The End of the Spear" and to supper. I can not recommend this movie highly enough. It was beautifully done, heartwrenching, and although it didn't have quite as clear of a Gospel presentation, knowing the whole story seemed to fill in the blanks. It is the story of the 5 missionaries killed by Waudani indians in South America told from the perspective of Nate Saint's son, Steve. It goes on from there to follow the lives of the natives involved years before and years after the incident and chronicles their journey to salvation and Steve's own realization of who killed his father and his forgiveness anew. Bring tissues, you will cry.

Last night was Awana, and again I was struck with the reality of how much we all need the Lord, and in such different ways. I teach the 5th and 6th grade girls, and just seeing how God makes Himself alive to them and meets their needs, along with my needs and all the needs and desires and problems and concerns of everyone is just baffling. He truly has given us all we need that pertains to life and godliness, and the amazing thing is that that is so different for everyone. He meets us where we are, with what He would have us to do and helps us each get there in our own way, according to how He made us. Truly our God is an awesome God.

I have been failing dismally at my semi commitment to eating better and exercising. My mom and I had said we were going to keep each other accountable and encouraged and I think I've gained 2 lbs since then. I don't care so much about the weight (I don't even own a scale) but I just want to feel strong again, and fit into the clothes that I have. And you know, rock hard abs wouldn't be a bad thing either! :P Not that that is anything I have ever had or really hope to have but, it's certainly a goal worth striving for, and one that I cannot hope to get close to without some real work on my part. I have the time, I can make the time, I just need to get off my butt and move!! I have exercise videos, several that are good and that are just collecting dust at this point. If I would get up in the morning, I would have plenty of time to do them. Or I could do it at night. Nathan even asked me the other night if I could get one piece of exercise equipment, what would it be? I said probably a stair stepper or a treadmill that could incline. He said we could put it in the computer room and I could be on it in the evening while he's on the computer. Sounded great to me. I used to love the stair stepper machines in the workout room at college. They were my favorite. I'm sure there are lots of other new and better machines out there now, I just don't know anything about them. Of course, if time, money and child care weren't issues, I would totally join a gym. I love going to the gym, using all the different equipment, weights, etc, I would love that. But, there is no way Nate would pay for that, and really no way I can see that I could arrange that even if he were willing to pay for it. How did I get talking about that?

Sometimes I feel as though this blog is made up of useless drivel, the wanderings of my short attention span, and really isn't accomplishing much good. Oh well, it makes me feel better anyway! :P I should go put laundry away, before there gets to be more out of the drawers than in....

It's been way too long since I have blogged. It's Wednesday morning. The kids are fed, changed, dressed, and playing behind me. I've got three loaves of bread rising and the dishes are done. I went through all the toys last night and reorganized, threw out and seperated a bunch to give away. Monday Misty and her sweet munchkins came over and played. Misty helped me take pictures and get my ebay selling account all set up. I was so thankful, she helped so much. Now I just have to get the rest of my stuff set up and up for sale! The kids had so much fun. When they left, George said "That little Josiah isn't shy anymore! He likes to play with me now!" Here daughters were so sweet. Grace just grinned and kept hiding behind her hair. Cami is such an incredible help with the little kids!! She was wonderful!!

I was talking to a man from church the other night after Awana and he said their 14 year old daughter makes all their bread now, and that from the time their kids were three, his wife started training them to clean the bathroom and dust and do other chores. They weren't done very well at first, for a few years even, but the training was in place and then by the time they were 6 or so, they were so used to doing it and were actually good at it. I should really start doing that more with George. The kids already know how to pick up their toys and books of course, but I haven't branched out much more past that. George does put away the laundry in his room, (and yes it is very messy, but hey, it's in drawers and put away!) I could probably start training them to help more with dishes maybe, or sweeping. I too often just think. "Oh, I could do it so much faster and I don't want to take the time to teach them and have them do it badly.." but if I don't teach it now, by the time they get old enough to do it well, they probably won't want to!

Last night I started reading the book that Krista and Miss Mike gave me for my birthday last year. It's called "The Mom you were meant to be." It's really good, simple short chapters on several key issues that Biblically encourage you to enjoy your kids, get to know them individually, love them, listen to them, and slow down and stop stressing out. It was so what I needed to read. It was written by a mom with three kids close together, two boys and a girl, just like me. She was a grandmother when she wrote the book, so had the wealth of experience and hindsight in her favor. It really is so hard to believe everyone that says slow down and enjoy it, it will go by so quickly, but I know they are right. Some days I get so overwhelmed, but I know if I could go back to this time in 20 years, I would do it in a heartbeat. It's beautiful chaos.

I have got the decorating bug. I found a wallpaper that I want to put in the kitchen, but it is way too expensive. I have been looking for it online at other places but I am afraid the Country House is the only place that sells it. I think we will paint the boys room this weekend. And I think there will be enought paint left over to do the hall bathroom, too. I found a border I like for the living room. I just want to paint everything!!! The walls now are so scuffed and yuck with that super flat paint that shows every little mark. And it's all beige!! I really want to get some color in here! I still don't have curtains in any room but the boys room, either. All in good time..and money. I hate to spend money on things we don't need, but Nate doesn't mind.

Well, I must run, laundry and kidcare awaits. Have a blessed day!!