Did I really say that?!?

It seems like strange things have been coming out of my mouth lately. They make perfect sense in the context in which they occur, but taken out, they do sound pretty weird. Here are some examples:

• "Stop using the force on your sister!"
• "We do not eat dinosaurs."
• "Please don't make jewelry out of your fruit."
• "It's not nice to pretend to flush Grandma."
• "Legos do not go in your underwear."
• "Get Spiderman off the cat."
• "No, I do not want to see your 'cool' stinky."
• "Yes, I'm sure Batman loves you."
• "We do not dance while we are peeing."
• "No, I don't think Jesus is hiding under your bed."
• "Monsters are allergic to freesia body spray."
• "No, Daddy does not just swim in pools all day."
• "No, wild rice does not turn you into a wild animal."

And then there are the things that I say on average 657 times per day. Man, if I only had a nickel for every time I said....

• "Shut, flush, and wash."
• "No whining!!!!!!!"
• "Use your words."
• "If you get it out, put it away."
• "Go potty now!"
• "Hands in your pockets in the store."
• "Figure it out."
• "Obey right away, the right way, with the right attitude."
• "Quietly, quietly."
• "Is that loving your neighbor?"
• "I love you"
• "No, we can't call Daddy right now."
• "No snacks right now."

And then there's the things I wish I said more often.....

• "Of course you may do the laundry for me."
• "No, Dear, I don't mind if you take the kids for the day."
• "Sure, I'd like another Starbucks."
• "Round trip tickets to see my parents?? Great!"
• "Oh, I dropped another size! How about that?"
• "Maid service for life? Okay, if that's what you think best, Dear."
• "No, I am not too young to have all these children."
• "Girl's night out? Okay!!"
• "You taught yourself to clean the bathroom top to bottom? What a good boy!"
• "I'd love to have some flowers, how sweet!"

And then there's the things that I continually have to remind myself of, that I tell myself over and over....

• "Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee."
• "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
• "Remember your grandmother."
• "Only a few more days until Nate is home."
• "Give it to the Lord."
• "Action, not anger."
• "Let it go."
• "Be a blessing."
• "She opens her mouth in wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness."
• "His grace is sufficient for me."
• "His mercies are new every morning."

I guess that last list is the one I need to keep in mind. :)