Two days ago, a miracle happened in my house. In a quiet room, all by himself, my little 4 year old son told Jesus he was sorry for his sins, that he knew he needed to be saved, and nobody else could save him and asked Jesus to save him and let him go to Heaven someday. Then he ran out and said "Mama, I asked Jesus to save me from my sins and I really think He answered my prayer!"

We had been talking about things for quite some time, as George has been learning different verses in Cubbies and at home and has over the past few months begun to understand the reality of the gospel. Last Friday night I think was the first time he fully understood that Jesus was the only way to Heaven, that only Jesus could have paid the punishment for his and my and everyone else's sins, and that no one else could ask Jesus to save him, but him. He knew about Hell, and seperation from God, and that if you don't accept God's present to us of His Son taking the punishment for our sins, then we would go to Hell. This was a subject that I had steered clear of, frankly just because I didn't really know what to tell him exactly, and didn't really think he was ready for it all, but a 5 year old friend told him all about it on Friday, and expounded quite efficiently on Jesus' sacrifice for us. This had spurred George on to ask a lot of questions and he had even said that night that he wanted to ask Jesus to save him, but he didn't know how. This is the boy who usually prays the same stock prayer, be it at a meal, bedtime, or whenever. So, that night I had told him what he could say, but he was still reluctant. I had been very careful to just present the facts and stress that it was his decision. I didn't want him praying a prayer or "making a decision" simply because he thought I wanted him to. I could tell that night that he was struggling with it, and wanted to ask Jesus to save him, but wasn't quite ready. He wanted me to do it for him, or Daddy. I explained that only he could do it, it was a choice everyone has to make for themselves. I didn't say anymore about it, but just prayed.

Then on Monday afternoon, when he got up from his nap, he greeted me with those precious words. We talked then and I asked him some questions to try to make sure that he understood. He was very excited and of course, so was I after I did believe that his understanding and decision were genuine. We prayed together and thanked God for sending his son and Jesus for saving him. I told him that God had just written his name in the book of life, (we had read that passage from Revelation a few days ago) and that the angels were so happy and having a party because they were so excited that he was a Christian now and that he would be in Heaven someday.

Yesterday we went to the Bible bookstore to try to find a good children's Bible. I found some good ones for children, but the translations looked pretty out there. George had been trying to follow the pastor's chapter and verses in church on Sunday with the pew Bible, saying that his Bible didn't have numbers. He asked if he could take that Bible home because he really needed one with real numbers in it. I finally found one online that I will order for him. It's called the Children's Rainbow Bible. It's got lots of beautiful illustrations and charts as well as a children's dictionary in it, and it is a real Bible, not just a collection of paraphrased stories. George is very excited to get it in the mail.

It all seems sort of unreal to me. I didn't really think that at this point in my child's life, he would be ready to make this, the most important of decisions. It thrills my soul, and at the same time adds a whole new realm of responsibility to my parenting. In a way, though, it also brought a sad realization to light.

After George and I had talked and prayed, we called Grammy in Maine and George excitedly told her his news. She started crying happy tears and asked him some questions and they talked for awhile. Then he called Grandma and there were more happy talks. Then we called Daddy. George talked first, told him his news and there was a short pause on George's end while Nate replied. Then George said "Daddy, it is cool!" Then nothing. George waited a minute or so and then said "Okay I love you, bye-bye." Then handed the phone to me. Well, he tried, but Ian grabbed the phone and babbled for a few seconds and then said Bye and handed the phone to me. When I got Nate on the phone he sounded as deadpan and irritated as ever when I call him at work and shortly said "Okay, I've got to go, I'll see you later." He got home about 20 minutes before the kids went to bed and after the children were in bed I asked him if he was excited about George's news. He shrugged his shoulders and said "I don't know" When I questioned him further he said he wondered if George really understood. I told him all I had asked George and that he had told me and the fact that he had prayed, all by himself, not at anyone's prompting, and that I really thought it was genuine. He just nodded and said "Well, good" and then got on the computer.

Perhaps he just reacts to things differently than I do. I know that he does. But it really did just dismay me to see his lack of excitement or even apparent interest in the immortal soul of his child. I so often don't have any idea what is going on in his head, and this is one of those times I would really give a lot to be able to know exactly what he's thinking. Maybe I'm making too much out of him not making much of it. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here for me, but it just seems to scream to me what I already know at the periphery of my attention. Spiritual things don't seem to matter to him. And again, I should not be expecting him to react or to act like I do. It just disheartens me, and reemphasizes to me that I am on my own, or rather, that I am only to rely on my Heavenly Father in the spiritual leading and teaching of our children. And isn't that what we are all to do?

I've spent a lot of time in prayer this morning, thanking God for George's understanding and asking for His help in guiding and being an example to my baby, who is now a baby Christian. I know He cares for George and me and my family even more than I do, and I take a lot of comfort in that fact and in the ever present availability of His strength.