Yesterday was so busy, but everything went pretty well. In the morning we packed up and I left the boys at their Grandma's house, then went over to the church to wait for my Awana girls. Our spring outing was yesterday. We went to Cochran Mill Nature Center in Palmetto. They had a reptile house and an outside bird of prey exhibit. I strapped Grace on in her Snugli, and we hiked a long trail through the woods. It was really pretty on the trail, with wildflowers beginning to bloom and waterfalls along the stream and dam. It was kind of an interesting experience, we started out with all the girls and one teenaged leader in front, and her mother, another older mom and me in the back. As we got hiking, the distance between the groups widened, and I found myself in an oddly metaphorical position. Do I belong with the young girls, or the older, experienced moms? At first I tried to stay back and in conversation with the other moms, but they were going so slowly, and I was really loving being outside and walking, and wanted to keep a slightly brisker pace. But, I couldn't catch up with the younger girls. I spent most of the morning just me and my baby girl, just barely in sight of the group ahead and behind. I love walking, hiking, being outdoors, but usually I like to do it with at least one other person. I don't like to be the leader in any way, I like to hide in a group. It got me thinking that that's kind of the place I am in in my life. Most of my friends are the more experienced homeschool moms and I haven't started homeschooling yet, and my kids are still little. I don't feel like I really belong in their "group" if I were to classify those as the qualifiers. I suppose there are certainly other ways that we have much more in common, but I still feel so far below, like I'm just a little girl pretending to be a grownup. Then, I have other friends, some my age or younger, that may be in the same physical place I am, with small children, but I just feel like I am on a differant path than they are. I feel halfway in-between both groups most of the time these days, and it's not a feeling I relish, but, yesterday, having it so clearly represented to me gave me some time to do some thinking before the Lord. I feel like the Lord was saying to me "Yes, I know you have always found security in hiding in groups, but maybe now I have something for you alone... you need to look only to me for your acceptance and your sense of belonging. Maybe I want you on a path all by yourself, so that I am your only Companion. Maybe you will see My footprints, hear My voice more readily if that is all that is around you." I kind of feel like I've been floating in my spiritual life lately, and maybe a feeling of isolation given by the Lord will induce me to seek deeper levels of worship.

After our hike, we ate lunch and I brought the girls back to the church to meet their parents, then I went to Carrollton to drop off some stuff at the consignment store and then go to the Social Security office. I finally had all the paperwork I needed to apply for Ian and Graces' social security cards. It was rather an ordeal, going through all the paperwork, getting things verified by the health dept., explaining why I had my children at home (on purpose!!) and why they didn't have immunization records. The lady I was dealing with was really nice, though, and after about an hour, they had everything filed and we should have the cards within 10 days!! Which means that we can claim all our children on our tax return this year and file an amended return for last year and claim Ian, and then we will have lots of moolah!! I told Nate I didn't think there was any reason why we couldn't have the basement done by the end of the year, especially with plenty of money to do it with. He grunted something that sounded negative. I don't think I ever posted that that so called "well recommended plumber" turned out to be a moron. Well, more precisely, we got the distinct impression that he thought our business wasn't worth his time, and he didn't want to mess with it. After he left, Nate told me that he was a traveling evangelist on the side and that he was a close personal friend of the pastor of a church that good friends of ours had left last year. Let's just say that the church and pastor were oh so much more pharisaical than Christ like and knowing that this man was a personal friend of that pastor did not speak well of his character. I have been meaning to ask around at church to see if anyone else knows of a good plumber that we could hire to do the job. I hate to just call someone I don't know of without a recommendation from a friend.

After the s.s. office Grace and I came home and I called Karen to bring the boys back. It's kind of frustrating that they don't take naps at her house. I don't know if it's because of something that she does or what, but I hate it when my children don't get enough sleep, although I am so thankful for her willingness to help. I called Nate at about quarter to 6, to see if he would be home anytime soon, to which he answered no, so I packed up the kids and took them to the new Subway that opened yesterday about a mile from our house. It was fun, the boys thought it was fabulous, and I don't miss Nate as much when I'm away from home. I got him a sandwich to go and when he came home a little after 8 he ate it then. I think he is planning on taking Monday off. He wants to take George camping. It will be so fun for them. I was really hoping that we could go to get our family pictures done in the morning when he took a day off, but if they go camping, I don't know if it will work out. I might just go get the kids pictures done, and maybe we'll get a family one done after Ian's birthday in July. I made bread last night and it was a total flop. This is why I don't try to be creative in the kitchen, it is usually a complete disaster. I had some Ezekial mix and was going to make bread, but the mix didn't make quite enough flour as I needed, and since the mix had beans and lentils and things already in it, I thought maybe I could grind up some dried split peas and use that for the extra flour. Bad idea. It made the consistency better, but the bread smelled funny, turned black and is hard as a rock. Oh, and it tastes pretty crappy, too. That was three loaves, totally wasted. I was sooo not happy. To spend all that time, and ingredients, making bread and then have it turn out inedible because of my stupidity is veeery frustrating. Oh well. I think I'll stick to my regular recipe today!!
Well, I have to go, Ian and Grace (oh, and me) aren't dressed yet, and I reeeeally need to get laundry put away this morning.