First post

This is my first post here, and I'm not even sure I've figured out how to do this correctly. We'll see how it turns out. I'm not sure I'll even tell anyone that I am doing this, but perhaps just have it for a personal journal. I suppose the possibility exists that someone would randomly come across this and read it, so for that stranger out there, reading my words, let me tell you a little about myself. I am 26, I am a wife, a mother, a friend. I am 8 months pregnant with our third baby. (Fifth actually, as we have two tiny angels in Heaven.) I am infinitely blessed beyond measure in my life. I have the privelage to be married to a wonderful man named Nathan. He is my best friend and lover. He is gone tonight to a men's retreat with the men of our church. I miss him, although usually at this time he is sleeping anyway, I miss knowing he is close. He is such a great father, and I am so proud of the man that he is. Nathan, if you ever read this, just know how much I admire and adore you. I am the mother of two beautiful boys. They are the light of my life. George will be three on Christmas Eve. I can't believe how quickly he has grown. He is so smart and beautiful. I know that's not a word that "should" be used for a little boy, but it just fits him. He makes everyone he comes in contact with smile. What a treasure he is. Ian is about 16 months old. He is my love bug, so snuggly, and loving, yet with a strong stubborn streak that makes him always an adventure. He is learning and growing so quickly now, and I know when this baby is born, he will seem to have aged exponentially overnight, as that is what happened to George when I had Ian. That's just a bit about my family. I'm not very good at describing myself. I sometimes feel so inadequate to the blessings and responsibilities I have been given. I am truly a sinner saved by grace. If not for the Lord, where would I be? I shudder to think, and praise Him in the same breath, because He sought me out and loved me enough to save me, and continues to uphold me with His mercies and His guidance. I truly do not know how people make it without leaning on the Lord. Well, back to a small description of me. I suppose you could look to the blog title for an idea. Nathan says this is my "motto." LOL. My name means love, I crave peace, and strive to maintain it, and my life is consumed with bringing forth and caring for my babies. I find my greatest joy in loving my children and my husband, when I am loving God like I should. It's funny how they are so dependant upon one another. When I am loving the Lord like I should, He gives me amazing power to love my family as I ought, but when I am neglecting the Lord's influence on my life, I cannot hope to love my husband or my children as they deserve, and as I ought. Anyway, I guess I should put some happenings down, to make this fit the title of journal. Tonight I painted my bedroom. It turned out way darker than the smudge on the paint can, I really hope it lightens up as it dries thoroughly. It really worked out well with Nathan being gone, I was able to do it after I put the kids to bed, and then I will sleep on the couch, so as not to inhale paint fumes all night. That would make for some interesting dreams I bet. I did have to use my inhaler, and am just waiting for the shakes to chill out so that I can try to get some sleep tonight. That has been a scarce thing lately, as I have developed Restless Leg Syndrome in the past few months, and get between 3 and 4 hours of fitful sleep most nights. I have to say, though, the human body is amazing, and I have really adapted to it pretty well now. I guess it won't be that much of a shock to my system after the baby's born, and I will be up all hours nursing. In some ways, I am so excited to meet and hold this little one. That is really the predominant thought in my mind, but there is a part of me that feels sooo unready, and anxious about how I will be able to handle caring for everyone adequately. I know that the Lord will not give me more than I can handle, though, and His grace is sufficient for me. His strength is available, and I just pray now that I will keep seeking His face and guidance and I know He will help me through whatever comes into my path. I think that's a good thought to end on, so I will say goodbye, and perhaps post again tommorow.

Charity