Monday Morning

My friend Misty often puts songs at the beginning of her posts, like "Monday, Monday.." I guess that would fit here, too. The boys and I have yucky colds we are getting over. I had ridiculous allergies all day Saturday at my MIL's house, then just felt more and more terrible as the day went on. Sunday morning, Nate got up with the boys, I could hardly move, and when I did get up, he asked me how I was feeling, and then he told me to just go back to bed. I was so thankful, I almost cried. I went back to bed and kept putting my heating pad on differant sore parts of my body. I was aching all over, running nose, dizzy, headache, cough. It felt soooo good to be able to get back into bed, though, and not have to worry about taking care of the boys. I did get up around 10:30 becasue one of the boys threw a ball against my door. When I got up, I realized that they were both in their pajamas and diapers from last night, and started to change Ian so he could take a nap. Nate came in and I reminded him Ian needed to take a nap. Then I went back to bed, and didn't get up until 1!!! I can't remember the last time I got to just laze in bed like that. I still felt sick when I got up, but much better than I did when I got up in the morning. We ate lunch and then got the boys down for a nap. Nate and I laid down on the couch, then decided to pull out the sofa bed, and laid down to take a nap. We were too much enamoured with each other to fall directly asleep, but after some quality time together, we both drifted off again. I got up later on and took a shower, and George woke up while I was in there. Then I made apple pie and we cleaned up some for Nate's parents and aunt Roberta coming over. They came over and we played a game, put the kids to bed, and ate pie. It came out pretty bland. I definitely need to fiddle with the recipe. It was the first time I had made pie crust from the real flour, and using Sucanat with Honey instead of sugar. Not that I could have done otherwise, I haven't had white sugar or white flour in my house for quite a while. I dreamed about when the baby will come. It's coming scaringly quickly. If I have this one at the same time as I had Ian, that will be in only 15 days!?!?! I really want to get the bedroom finished painted and my Christmas stuff up before the baby comes. I already have the clothes all sorted out and ready, and I think I will use the little bouncer/bed I got at Goodwill for the baby's bed, at least in the beginning. It will be so much more easily portable, and then George can still use the travel crib for naptimes. I could easily get upset and start wishing Nathan had actully accomplished what he said he would and gotten work done on the basement, so I could at least look forward to being able to move the boys down to their room in the next few months. But, that simply will not be a reality, and it is truly a sin for me to dwell on what isn't truth, and wish my circumstances were differant. I have to really work on continuing to be content, and following the five commandments of contentment. I think I'll write them out just to remind myself of them today:
1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything, not even the weather.
2. Never picture yourelf in any other circumstances, or someplace else.
3. Never compare your lot with anothers.
4. Never wish this or that had been otherwise.
5. Never allow yourself to dwell on tommorow, remember that is God's, not yours.
I get stuck on the second one, and the third, and well, okay, I have trouble with them all. I have to say, this Bible study had been so timely, once again, in teaching me just what I needed to learn exactly when I needed to learn it. I had just been getting bitter and angry and completely discontented with the basement situation, when we started reading "Calm my Anxious Heart", and the first chapter was on being content with my circumstances. The Lord really is amazing. His loving care, in wanting to teach me this is very humbling. What an affront it is to the Lord for me to not be completely accepting and pleased with the lot He has chosen for me, for my own good. His thoughts are above mine, He has a plan for my life, and it is completely arrogent and self-centered of me to believe that I could have come up with a better plan than He could. I am glad He is in control, and I don't have to worry about it. My part is to peacefully accept what He lays in my path, and try to learn from it what He would teach me. Thankyou, Lord, so much for continuing to remind me of your control, and that I truly have none, and that joy is to be found in such a situation. If the basement ever gets done, I will be happy, but its timing is not up to me. It is a fine line that I need to find Biblical balance on, on the one hand not wanting to trust anything Nathan says, because he has proven his words to so often have no meaning, and just accepting every little thing he says as a sure prediction of what will happen, regardless of what may come up. I think perhps the best thing to do is to trust him, but allow for changes. What he says at a certain time is probably his sincere intention at the time, but he can't predict the future any better than I can. He is a good, godly man who does his best to provide and care for his family, and he is exactly what I need. I think perhaps sometimes I just love him so much I put him up on a pedastal, and when something happens to preclude his spoken intentions, it bothers me more than it should. Also, my love for him too often is in the realm of phileo or eros love, and certainly not agape, as it should be. Oh, Lord, please help me to love him as I should. Help me to love him as you do, and show me practical ways to show him. My feelings, being too emotional, too often get in the way of my own intentions to do as I should. I marvel at what he puts up with in me. Well, I must go, get dressed, get the boys dressed, and get something productive done today. I feel so much better today than I did yesterday, and hopefully the boys do, too. They act as if they are both better. I will write more perhaps tommorow. I am really enjoying having an outlet for my thoughts here, that I can easily access and I think it helps me to see what I am thinking, to analyze it for the too prevalant sins that I let creep into my thinking and words. Lord, I pray that you would help me today be filled with wisdom and kindness.